Weakest_on_the

The Weakest on the Servers
( Parody of Coward of the County by: Kenny Rogers )

Ev'ryone considered Bud, The worst on the servers.
Never stood one single chance to prove the players wrong.
Bud’s online name was Fragger, but they just called him newbie,
But deep down I knew, they were judging Buddy wrong.

He was only 30 years old when he got his 1st PC.
Well, he played everyday, but no matter what, he never won.
I still recall the nasty words The gamers typed to Fragger:
" Newbie, Killing you is just no longer fun."

( Chorus: )
"Promise me, Newbie, not to show up here again.
Stay away from this server I demand.
Now, I speak of you as a freak and to spectators your a geek.
I hope you're smart enough to understand:
Fragger, You can’t fight me, man to man."

Buddy's has a favorite Mod, It was "Last Man Standing".
In that game, He practiced to be the last to survive.
One day while he was playing, The mean player joined the game.
he wiped out the bots, then took down Fragger last.

   Buddy shut down the game and then started thinkin'.
He went to the Store,Looked around, And saw what he wanted.
   He reached into the new box, took out his brand new XP .
As the Smile came upon Buddy’s face, he heard those words again.

( Chorus: )
"Promise me, Newbie, not to show up here again.
Stay away from this server I demand.
Now, I speak of you as a freak and to spectators your a geek.
I hope you're smart enough to understand:
Fragger, You can’t fight me, man to man."

The mean Player just "LOL" him, When he entered the mod: Last Man Standin'.
He hit reload and met him half way 'cross the map.
Then as Fragger turned around, he typed, " Hey, Fragger Your a leavin?"
But you coulda heard a mouse drop, when Fragger stopped and set the trap.

Many years of losin', was bottled up inside of him.
He was holdin' nothin' back; he quickly fragged the bots.
Fragger, just earned his name, The mean player was left standin'.
He typed, "Now I’m the best?",as he watched the mean one fall.
And then he saw Fragger type:

( Chorus: )
"Better Promise me, Loser, not to show up here again.
Stay away from this server, I demand!
Now, I speak of you as the freak and to spectators your now the geek.
I hope you're smart enough to understand:
That I'm now and always will be the better man. "
"Loser, you can’t fight the Fragger, man to man."

Written by Edward E. White 2007

               Coward of the County

Ev'ryone considered him the coward of the county
He never stood one single time to prove the county wrong.
His mama named him Tommy, but folks just called him yellow,
something always told me they were reading Tommy wrong.

He was only ten years old when his daddy died in prison.
Well, I looked after Tommy 'cause he was my brother's son.
And I still recall the final words my brother said to Tommy:
"Son, my life is over, but yours is just begun."

( Chorus: )
"Promise me, son, not to do the things I've done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
Now, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
I hope you're old enough to understand
Son, you don't have to fight to be a man."

There's someone for ev'ryone, Tommy's love was Becky.
In her arms he didn't have to prove he was a man.
One day while he was workin' the Gatlin boys came callin'.
They took turns at Becky, there was three of them!

Tommy opened up the door and saw his Becky cryin'.
The torn dress, the shattered look was more than he could stand.
He reached above the fireplace, took down his daddy's picture.
As the tears fell on his daddy's face, he heard these words again.

( Chorus: )
"Promise me, son, not to do the things I've done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
Now, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
I hope you're old enough to understand
Son, you don't have to fight to be a man."

The Gatlin boys just laughed at him when he walked into the barroom.
One of them got up and met him halfway 'cross the floor.
Then Tommy turned around they said, Hey look ol' yellow's leavin'."
But you coulda heard a pin drop when Tommy stopped and locked the door.

Twenty years of crawlin' was bottled up inside him.
He wasn't holdin' nothin' back; he let 'em have it all.
When Tommy left the barroom not a Gatlin boy was standin'.
He said, "This one's for Becky.", as he watched the last one fall.
And I heard him say:

( Chorus: )
"I promised you, Dad, not to do the things you've done.
I'll walk away from trouble if I can.
Now please don't think I'm weak, I couldn't turn the other cheek,
And papa, I sure hope you understand:
Sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man."
Ev'ryone considered him the coward of the county...